the past weekend has been one of the most momentous in my life.
i did something i shouldn’t have done
seen some things i shouldn’t have seen.
my friend lesley said that in between doing something really dumb (like go through someone else’s files) and reacting (getting enraged and spilling the beans to the one person i shouldn’t have told), i should’ve called my girlfriends first.. so that together, we will figure out a way to get out of the mess.
makes sense.
but, oh well, i am but human. so there i went. did the stupid unthinkable act of rummaging through files.. and discovering sleazy stuff which left me feeling as if i was being stabbed by countless ice-cold shards of glass.
life is good. or.. let me put it this way: life is good to me.
the "rifling through someone else’s stuff" part has been downplayed a bit, with the excuse of "it’s alright to have given in to the temptation", which, incidentally, he provided for me. i know no, make that: i’m certain that there is no justification for what i have done, as it is utmost violation of one’s privacy, but hey, cut me some slack.. and to quote a TLC song:
I might look through your stuff, for what I don’t wanna find
Or I might just set you up, to see if you’re all mine
I’m a little paranoid, from what I’ve been through
Don’t know what you got yourself into
and we’re okay now.. somewhat. whatever it is i’ve seen — i just have to live with, or move through. and talking it over helped a lot.
that incident was a discovery.. a revelation of sorts — of what he is (or was), and how he would desperately want to keep what we have special. after bitter words have been exchanged (not to mention the tears shed), it’s wonderful to know that we are able to bounce back, although a bit wounded, but still standing. and still laughing.
what was most touching was the way my hair was carressed, with a mischievous glint in his eye as he said tenderly: "sinong nakialam ng gamit?" with as much lambing as he can muster. (although probably, he would want to wring my neck for doing so.. Ü)
Post a Comment