๑۩۞۩๑ hideaway ๑۩۞۩๑

i had just put the phone down, and i did it with a smile on my face.

it started out to be one of those everyday phone conversations we normally have, but as always, i could not predict this man of many surprises. at the most unexpected time, he picked up his guitar and serenaded me. and i fell in love with my crooner all over again.

it wasn’t the first of his many surprises for me, and it continues to amaze me that this man could still think of these little things to make me smile. the courtship had ended, but the romance definitely hadn’t.

i am one lucky girl.

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then it drove me to think about the things that happen to us in our day-to-day struggles that hinder us from keeping the romance in our relationships alive. work, meetings, domestic chores, squabbles, petty arguments, fights, issues big and small… somesuch stuff fill up our days and leave us with so little space to create intimate moments with our special someones. so no matter how much time we spend with our loved ones, and no matter how much money we spend in buying them expensive gifts, we still feel that kind of emptiness that can only be filled by real "us moments" — moments when nothing else matters and nothing else exists except you and the life you have created together.

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but i am blessed with someone who lives on creating "us moments" in every chance he gets. he’s not the kind who waits for special occasions or perfect opportunities to do something romantic. he creates magical moments, anytime and anywhere.. his love changes in form and expression, and keeps Romance alive and part of the relationship.

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imagine a quintessential boy-next-door type whom you could bring home to Mom, someone who really, really, honest-to-goodness loves you.. but deep inside you try to convince yourself that he could be the guy for you. and you wait for Certainty to turn up, all the while feeling a kind of loneliness that can only be cured by Romance, on top of Love. and eventually, you will come to realize that you cannot be with someone who wouldn’t do little things to romance you once in a while. and you will come to realize that you cannot be with someone whom you didn’t love as much as he loves you.

it’s like having that much-coveted perfect little black dress seen from a store window and realize that that perfect little black dress doesn’t fit you well when you try it on at home.

you really shouldn’t just settle for someone when you know how much more you can give with someone else.

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then i met someone who had the same passion as i had. who believed in magic, in destiny, in all these wonderful things that make love maddening yet sobering, that make life chaotic and serene. who believed in ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other LOVE. how can i turn my back on this madness and embrace a life that is staid, bland and.. cold?

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you shouldn’t stay in a relationship that doesn’t feel deeply and organically right. you have to feel the certainty in every pore of your body, and this certainty had to come from and go right through your core. otherwise, you’d be stuck in a shallow and lifeless relationship. and trust me, no one wants that.

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life is too complicated to go through on your own. but finding the right one is such a risky deal. and i don’t blame people (me included) who are in a mad scramble to commit to someone even at the risk of being stuck with the "wrong one". on the other hand, sometimes, you just want to stay in a safe and secure place rather than risk going out into the open and coming back with nothing.

but we need not settle for something less than the Real thing. life is filled with so much mediocrity that we shouldn’t let love be one of them.

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i merely sought for the truest, deepest, most perfect kind of love of which i am capable. i wanted to know what’s Real and what’s Right and fought for the right to have it. i just never gave up until i found home in the Other. i owed it to myself to live it.