i was caught unaware. i had no clue. no foreboding whatsoever. it just slammed at me, hit me smack in the face. feeling the icy chill, the cold was within me, then an emptiness.. and a darkness. and i found myself unable to breathe. the lump in my throat seemed to grow and the tightening in my chest seemed to be tauter… and then excruciating pain. not even the heimlich maneuver could take away the thing that was choking me.
had there ever been a time in your life when you had absolutely nothing else to do but to kneel down and pray? this was mine.
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i spent the most part of yesterday sulking. and the better part of it chasing a dream.
my spirit of resilience got the better of me, for despite everything that has happened, i found out that i am still capable of being inspired, of feeling giddy, that i am still capable of smiling and being excited over someone.
and that is very life-affirming.
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part of me died. but the part that has remained alive refused to wither away.
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at the end of the day, i can truly say that my battle has been won. because i had been a warrior, and that i fought. and fought well.
3 Comments
just a thought…
The moment i realized thatbeing focused on my problems just taught me how to die slowly…i tried to turn around and look around me, yup, i’ve been successful in closing my world, I read the bible it opened my eyes from there i realized that in momentarily forgetting my own tribulations and extending my arms for someone else i’ve not just given comfort and peace, i’ve earned myself the peace i need too. I rest my case to God and everything will be ok.
i know what you’re saying girl…
the other night i thought i would die from sheer torture.
in the middle of the night, as i lay in bed, i closed my eyes and prayed for one thing, and one thing only:
“Lord, i do not understand You. i do not understand the things that are happening. just please, please take away my pain. i offer you my life.. kayo na pong bahala sa akin..”
and only then was i able to sleep. i have not yet mastered the art of letting go. but i’m getting there. =)
dropped by just to give you this: *hugs*
stay happy =)
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