i find myself alternating between laughter and tears lately. i cry, then laugh at myself for crying. isn’t that crazy? but i think that’s just normal. and i’m determined to do everything right this time around. i have you to thank for that.
i’m still hurting, and i imagine you are too. but that’s the reality of it. someday, i know i’d see why this had to happen. i can’t wait for that day when i finally understand His reason for giving me this pain. have i ever told you that i loved you the most?
that’s all that matters now: knowing that i am capable of that.
i just have to share what i’m feeling because you would understand me best amongst everyone special i have in my life. friends ask me time and again to tell my tale, but i’m at a loss for words to explain why this happened. even i still have to make sense of all these.
i’m moving through my pain because i know it is necessary for me to be able to move on. i say a prayer everytime the pain surfaces, though i try hard to contain my grief.
i hope it’d be easier for you, because i don’t see the point in having both of us go through with this kind of pain. i hope that’s what it is. if only to see that that’s the good that will come out of this — that you don’t feel as much pain as i do now — i’d be willing to settle for even that.
and not having to feel anger, resentment, regret and hatred everytime i think of you — that would be the last act of unselfish love i could offer you. just bear with me and hold my hand, like you always did. i’ll be okay soon.
Post a Comment