๑۩۞۩๑ hideaway ๑۩۞۩๑

it was midnight. there was some weird talk about a date. and i agreed. then there he was, on the couch, waiting.. waiting. mom was already asleep, i told him not to make unnecessary noises. but he insisted on saying hello. so up mom went, with chitter-chatter, hovering, fussing about the lateness of the hour and the dangers in the streets.

next scene was a row of stores on my left. and it was foggy. when my blurred vision cleared, i was inside a bakehouse. and the air was slowly being filled with taupe smoke wafting from freshly baked bread and pastry. the smoke began to take form, like limp pasta working their way up my nostrils until my self was filled with bakery aroma. behind my eyeballs, at the tips of my tapered fingers, underneath my skin, in my blood plasma. i was rising, rising, levitating. the same thing that happens when kneaded flour, water, eggs and yeast are baked. fire. it got me thinking then. gold is tested in fire. am i gold?

5:14am.

found myself in a room, looking very much like my senior year homeroom in highschool. there were people in the room, faces i don’t recognize. and these people were terrified. evil was looming. the wind was howling. lightning struck trees. fear was palpable.

there were four of us to battle this strangeness.. this this this vile wickedness! the elements of nature. earth wind fire water. i didn’t know the other three. maybe i knew them. i can’t remember now. but my heart is filled with love for them. they must be family, or friends, or familiar smiles that i see on my way to work. i don’t know. all i knew was that we had to do this. evil is near. the sky was getting darker, the putrid smell of fear stronger.

in anticipation, we had the gift of foresight. we knew that the wind will howl even more, the rain shall pour, hot ice on the ground. words elude me. there was no explaining the terror.

but evil will mask itself, we shall all be rocked tenderly. <rock-a-bye baby on the treetop, when the wind blows, the cradle will rock, when the bough breaks, the cradle will fall and down will come baby, cradle and all… such a violent song to sing to a child> we shall be carressed and enveloped in an embrace. and it will be pleasurable, as the second person of the four warriors showed me. i liked it. but no! this was evil. i had to recognize it for itself.

evil started off with a mock mass, facing an altar. everyone made the sign of the cross with their left hands, in reverse order. everyone had a bible. even i. but mine was the only one that’s different. mine was the real deal.

i was told not to stare. those eyes will kill, they said. i was supposed to wear the lapels of my overcoat left over right. and when the evil one started his incantation, i was to insert a plain white left sock in my bible without being detected.

then he started chanting. but he saw me on the act of putting the sock in. and we battled. i was being killed. but at that moment i reckoned, that the love in my heart will save me from this. and thought of him. he who gives me drive. holds my hand. makes me laugh. makes me cry.

then the wind ceased to howl. and the sky cleared. everything was still. clear. serene. silent. i heard muffled sounds in my head. then the smell of baked bread. and my last thought was "extremes merging to gain equilibrium".

all these happened. after i lulled myself to sleep on a tear-stained pillow.

*******************************************************************************************************************

dreams are such interesting material. what does this mean? and what does this say about me?